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• The Officers' Mess
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How to be a Successful Subaltern
by “Sustainer”
Introduction - Rule No. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6
Rule Number 2:
Know your enemy and supervise his bath.
There are many units that employ a fifth column in the shape of a 'senior subaltern'. This officer is deputed by the Adjutant to carry out certain social controls over his juniors. His selection is a pure accident of seniority - the job being thrust upon him because his commissioning date preceded that of his peers. Nevertheless 'power corrupts' and a senior subaltern can be expected to exhibit Adjutantal paranoia unless he is regularly bathed in cold water.
The successful Subaltern having identified the latent hostility in the senior subaltern will of course assist in filling the bath and may even contribute a tin of 'dark tan', for application if the paranoia is too deeply rooted to respond to treatment.
Our hero should on no account play any part in the physical aspects of the therapy, but should exercise his organisational skill from the edge of the melee, from time to time being heard to say publicly, "I say you chaps, aren't you going a bit far?"
Next - Rule No. 3